Uh Oh. Brady Quinn is on ‘High Alert’

Romeo Crennel is a fucking dick. This is laughable. When my favorite team isn’t a joke, real posts on this blog will come back. Until then you’ll get shit like this.

Maybe we should take a page out the Department of Homeland Security’s book, and have a color-coded section on the scoreboard to indicate the current level of Quinn Alert. Cal it the QAAS: “Quinn Alert Advisory System”.

– Green (Low) means DA is playing lights-out, and no defender has been within 5 yards of him. No risk of having to play Quinn.

– Blue (Guarded) means DA is playing very well, but because a few defenders have been relatively close, there is minimal chance that we’ll have to play Quinn.

– Yellow (Elevated) means DA is playing OK, and has a sack. Unless things take a sudden and unexpected turn for the worse, it is unlikely that we’ll have to play Quinn.

– Orange (High) means DA is not playing well, with more than one INT, a completion rate less than 50%, and multiple sacks from holding onto the ball too long. Quinn can relax, because DA might find his stride any time now.

– Red (Severe) means DA is being loaded into an extended-length ambulance, and Ken Dorsey is busy buying nachos at the concession stand. If Cribbs can’t be ready to go in at QB after calling a timeout, there is a slight possibility we’ll have to play Quinn.

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