Deadspin has released it’s “Hater’s Guide to the Top 25” and you guessed it, Drew Magary was assigned the task of making fun of every team in the top 25.
Imagine if the dude couldn’t make fun of something for like; one post. He’d have to rely on an actual, wholesome sports take for like a few minutes.
Here’s what he had to say about my hometown:
2. Ohio State: Oh, sweet fucking Jesus, you people again? Haven’t you people pissed away enough titles? Shouldn’t you be banished to NAIA so that we don’t have to see you lose the national title by 47 points to an SEC team? It’s because of YOU that people from the South are actually starting to feel good about themselves again. That is crap.
I’ve been to Columbus. It’s the kind of place no one would ever live voluntarily. You either live there because you can’t afford to live anywhere else, or because the judge put a travel restriction on your DUI probation. Tear the roof off a fucking Houlihan’s, expand the size of it to 50 square miles, and that’s Columbus. Just one big generic pile of shit. They should have just named it “City.”
Sweet Jesus right back at you honey buns. The kind of place no one would ever live voluntarily? Yeah, except it has the fastest growing district in the NATION within it. Drew joins the New Jersey dip shits of the east who believe that Ohio is just a bunch of cow fields and farmers. I live here, and it’s not. I live in one of the nicest locations on this earth. If you’ve ever been to Polaris area of Columbus (or Easton, or Dublin, or the other places which I can now avoid due to where I live) it’s hardly a big generic pile of shit. But hey, why would you want to live in Columbus when you can live in a city like Washington D.C.? You know–a place that’s filled with traffic jams out the ass, STD’s (Baltimore is nearby), political zealots, and liberal writers that are destroying our nation by the day.
Sorry Ohio State is you know; good at football every year. Maybe if we fell out of the top 10 once in a while and stopped beating the shit out of our regular competition like Michigan or found ourselves in contention once a decade like Purdue you’d leave our city alone, oh great one.
I’ve lived in C-Bus for 27 years. Never had a DUI. You know, if you have to use that kind of stuff as ammunition against a city maybe you should just take a straight forward approach like most people, bag the idea of ripping the city and just say that the Bucks can’t beat the SEC. You wouldn’t sound like such a jagoff then.